An L, A Sound Effects List, and the True Kira
by laughs I moved to a new thing
Summary: What L finds in a manga is shocking. My first attempt at crack for Death Note, so please be kind! K  for one swear near the end. Oneshot.


**This is my first attempt at crack. Give me feedback!**

* * *

L was a content man, a genius detective, and a huge fan of sweets. But what he loved most of all, even more than sweets, was learning what the different sound effect words were in manga books. Sure, call it a strange hobby, but when you are said genius, things tend to get boring after a while. No matter how smart a man is, he must always have some kind of strange, weird, whack-o hobby that when he tells people about, they give him a look as if he belonged in a mental institution—even though they are secretly hiding their own strange hobby.

Now, who exactly is "they"? Whoever "they" are, it really has absolutely nothing to do with this…so please, disregard this whole paragraph. Our apologies for the author's mind subjecting you to having to read that.

Back to L.

He was a man of few words, though when he did speak, the words came out in a careful monotone. The real reason for this was because he thought that if he spoke a lot, he would forget the sound effect words that he memorized every night from reading manga books. Although, one night, he came across something rather surprising….

L was sitting in his hotel, looking over a paper filled with supposedly meaningless bits of sentences such as "gaa: blush", "doki-doki: badum-badum (heartbeat)", "pachii: spark", and so on.* It rested on the floor in front of him.

This would happen often, as he had nothing else to do. He _was_ a genius, after all. They didn't do much.*

Regardless, L stumbled upon something very…well, shocking would be the correct word, more or less.

_Oh, wow…who would have thought…this is surprising_, L thought, resting his right thumb on his bottom lip. After a moment's contemplation, he called Watari over.

"Set me up with the Japanese…forget it—the police that the prime Kira suspect's father works with. And hurry."*

With a nod, the butler-looking man hurried off to get the laptop computer that was used solely for contacting the buffoons at the Japanese Police. He came back as quickly as he had left, with the laptop computer in hand. Setting the machine in front of the younger man, he plugged it into the wall, typed a few things rapidly on the keyboard and stepped back, holding out a headset.

"Thank you," L said. He put the headset over his unkempt black hair and waited for a moment before addressing the police. "Hello, this is L. I realize that many of you may have begun getting ready to go to your respective homes already, however there is some new information regarding Kira. I advise you all to wait just a moment while I make this a global broadcast."

L looked at Watari, who typed something else on the keyboard.

With a courteous nod as thanks, L went back to talking. "Hello. You may or may not know who I am. For those who don't, my name is L. You may or may not have heard of Kira, the serial killer who has struck Japan. Regardless of whether or not you have, I have information regarding Kira himself. As some of you may know, the Japanese have books called manga. They've got words as sound effects, rather than symbols. Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with Kira. Your answer is simple: the word 'kira' means 'sparkle'…as far as sound effects go."

As L made this statement, it seemed the world stopped spinning. Humans and Shinigami everywhere were in shock at this, and some small children began to cry.

Meanwhile, somewhere near Tokyo, Light Yagami was "studying for a test" when he heard this broadcast. After shutting off the television, one short curse rang quietly through the otherwise silent room.

"Damn you, L."

* * *

**Ah, I couldn't help myself. I was reading _Black Butler_ by Yana Toboso (an awesome Manga, if I may say so) and one of the sound effects was "Kira: Sparkle". I started laughing, set the book down, and wrote this in…I want to say about ten minutes, but I think it was more like twenty or thirty. I write slowly, but I type fast. Does that make any sense? Anyway, just thought I'd say something about it. **  
**Love you all for reading!**

**Notes:**  
* "(sound effects)" I took these from the back of the second _Fruits Basket_ novel.  
* "They don't do much…" It's a line that I got from the television show _Phineas and Ferb_. It's a pretty good show, actually. Even if it's directed at younger kids…  
* I forgot their "official" name. But now I remember it, but it's supposed to be funny. So you get that. :D


End file.
